Sunday, May 16, 2010

THE LIFE RAILWAY CORPORATION

People say life is a journey. I would prefer to say life is a train journey. Because I nauseate in buses and air travels are so short and I don’t like them. So I say God operates this great railway network and has allocated his children various divisions. So the kids line up and the take their zones.

The girl kid says “papa, I will take the plains and coastal zone, will make people’s life happy and beautiful” and she treats them like her Barbie dolls.
Whereas the mischievous son says “Pop, gimme the mountainous terrain, I will take people through a ride of their life time” and he takes these trains through (wooo, choock, choock ) through corners, rocks and gutters and thus some people have this struggling difficult hard life.

As the population grew God wasn’t able to manage his family run business by only employing his family. So he hires these angles, demons and other non-earthlings (Martians may be) and goes public as the Life Corporation. As year on year this corporation has developed into a mature company (may be) with its input to output ratio steadily increasing but a slower rate than the past years or whatever the appropriate unit of time with which we should measure the life of this organization.
The network has various zones divided like well off, filthy rich, damn poor, just making ends meet and so on. Each zones has numerous stations where people board (are born), switch trains (life takes lot of turns), and get down finally (die). So who decides when to board, whats the route/zone to travel and where to jump off? There is various level of decision making in the network, from the God making strategic decision of altering the network, bringing in new zones, adding more trains like

“hmmm… zones are less, lets divide them more, more my son Miserious take the new zone BPL, you my girl Optiona take this minority zone CEOs”.

And the God’s children maintaining their zones, improving their features and maintaining stations; the angels and demons maintaining their respective stations and operating the trains.

You could imagine two demons chatting

The darky bombshell TsuNaomi says “oh boy, last week was tough, had to jump with my train into sea from the bridge”,
“man, you atleast had fun in the water, last week I was all over with debris and mud”, replied Quaky.

There are also other demons like Hearty the attacky, Cancerious, the big Eights who deal with passengers person to person. So they deal with passenger like below

“Am sorry passenger you have crossed two stations past your destination point, Mr. Hearty the attacky will now throw you off the train now”

The Big Eights says, “Oops, I did a mistake. I made a passenger disembark two stations before his destination”
“don’t worry mate, I will make some other passenger in my list get down two stations after”, said Cancerious.

Each passenger gets many freebies and goodies in a random manner that comes allocated with their ticket which this network calls FATE. So someone might have a Jaguar written in their fate, whereas someone might get a rusty Cadillac tagged with their fate. The ticket also has various statuses like ‘Son’, ‘daughter’, ‘father’, ‘wife’, ‘mistress’, ‘poor husband’, ‘grandpa’, ‘pretty old sick grandpa’ assigned to it and keeps constantly changing.

Customer satisfaction about this network is a widely distributed ranging from “bloody hell good”, “I love my life” to “f**king bad”, “life s**ks”. But this network still maintains a monopoly which no one has ever thought about and people are forced to use this network somehow or the other.

There is a special travel pass of this network called ETERNITY which is only given to the employees of this network and has left many passengers stranded in search of it.